Is True Happiness Just an Illusion We Chase?

Happiness. The one thing everyone wants. Yet I believe no one seems to fully grasp. We chase it like a mirage. Even I do. Always believing that “just one more achievement, one more relationship, one more paycheck” will finally make me feel complete. 

But what if happiness isn’t a destination? 

What if it’s simply an illusion we’ve been conditioned to chase?

Why We Never Feel ‘Enough’?

I always have this at the back of my mind. Why do I never feel enough? A lot of times, a big win feels amazing to me, but simply for a while. We get the dream job, we buy the latest gadget, and we hit a milestone, and for a moment, life feels perfect. Then? 

The excitement fades. 

The goalpost moves. And we start craving the next ‘big thing.’

Now, with all the good amount of research that I have done, this endless loop comes with a term. And it’s called the hedonic treadmill. Yes, a psychological trap. 

When we are in this trap, we actually and constantly adapt to new highs, making long-term happiness nearly impossible. We believe happiness is about achievements and possessions. But in reality, our brain quickly normalizes them. Leaving us wanting more.

Example? Lottery winners. 

Studies show that most return to their baseline happiness levels within a year. Trust me, even if they win millions. The initial high fades. And life resumes its usual rhythm.

So,

Are we chasing happiness, or just society’s version of it?

A difficult question to answer. But I have tried a bit, by answering my own self. Are my dreams really mine? Or have they been planted by marketing, movies, and social media?

Why this?

From childhood, we’re fed a script. A very normal, full-proof, life pathway. “Graduate, get a stable job, marry, buy a house, have kids, retire happily.” 

But does ticking off these boxes actually bring happiness? 

Or are we just following a path society has laid out for us, mistaking it for personal fulfillment?

Let me tell you, social media makes it worse. 

We see highlight reels of other people’s lives. It makes us feel like we’re missing out (to me, it definitely does). 

The constant comparison fuels my FOMO quite a lot. Anxiety and dissatisfaction rush higher. And all of this actually tricks me into thinking happiness is something others have, but I (read: we) don’t.

What I have learned so far is,

THE MORE YOU CHASE HAPPINESS, THE MORE IT ELUDES YOU

I have noticed this a lot. When I actively try to be happy, it feels forced? Research shows that the pursuit of happiness can actually make people more miserable. And I second this. 

Why? Because when you fixate on “I should be happy,” every moment that isn’t euphoric feels like failure.

Instead of chasing happiness, what if we focused on meaning?

What actually leads to fulfillment?

Instead of treating happiness as a goal, think of it as a byproduct of meaningful actions. I will cut this whole theory down in three parts. 

Flow State

The best moments aren’t when you’re chasing happiness. But when you’re so immersed in something that time disappears. 

Whether it’s writing, painting, coding, or working on something you love. True joy often comes from deep engagement. Honestly, not external rewards.

Purpose over pleasure 

Get this straight (maybe a hard way around), A meaningful life isn’t always a happy one. 

Some of the most fulfilling experiences, like parenthood, building a business, and creating art, all are hard, messy, and emotionally exhausting. 

But they add depth and purpose to life. Which I feel is more valuable than fleeting happiness.

Gratitude & Presence 

The happiest people aren’t necessarily those with the most. But those who appreciate what they already have. Make sure to present. Try practicing gratitude. Or probably try finding joy in the small things. 

For me shifting the focus from “What’s missing?” to “What’s already here?” really works a lot. 

So, answering 

Is Happiness an Illusion?

Not exactly. It’s not that happiness doesn’t exist. It’s that we misunderstand it. It’s not a finish line. Not surely a final destination. Not something I will (read: we will) magically reach “someday.”

I feel happiness isn’t in the chase, happiness is a choice. It’s in the now. In the little moments. In the messy, imperfect, unpredictable nature of life.

So maybe, instead of asking, “How can I be happy?” we should start asking, “How can I make today meaningful?”

And maybe, just maybe, that’s where real happiness begins.