Are You Making Your Decisions or Just Following the Script?

Think about the last big decision you made. 

Maybe it was the career you chose. Or probably the person you dated. The phone you bought, or simply the food you ordered. 

Now ask yourself, Was that really your decision? A difficult question right? 

Then try asking, was the decision subtly influenced by society, marketing, or your past experiences in ways you didn’t even notice? It happens to me a lot. And trust me, it would be happening to you a lot of times. 

We love to believe we’re independent thinkers. At least I love to. 

In this thought, we often believe we are making choices based on logic and free will. But is it true? 

Most of what we call ‘decisions’ are pre-programmed responses. And these are shaped by factors we don’t even control. 

So,

Are we running on autopilot? 

Your brain hates uncertainty, mine does, a lot.  

That’s why, instead of analyzing every possible choice, we rely on mental shortcuts. We do alot of conditioning. We take help from multiple external influences to make quick decisions. It feels like free will. But I feel, it’s often just habit and subconscious programming.

Example? 

Have you ever found yourself scrolling social media endlessly without even deciding to? That’s not an accident. 

Apps like Instagram and Facebook manipulate out dopamine levels. These apps keep us hooked without us realizing it. 

So technically – your ‘decision’ to keep scrolling? It wasn’t really yours. Ouch!

Who taught you what you want? 

Next, from the moment we are born, we are actually fed with a set of beliefs. Also, values and desires that aren’t necessarily your own – Parents, teachers, media and sometimes religion. What I believe is, everyone has a say in shaping our world.

Like, success means a high paying job, says who? 

Beauty means clear skin and a slim waist, according to what standard? 

Marriage and kids are the real definition of happiness, or is that technically just another default path?

Long story short, we don’t just want things. We actually are told what to want. The more we absorb societal expectations, the more we confuse external influence with personal choice.

What about Marketing? 

Ever walked into a store for ‘just one thing’ and walked out with a bag full of stuff? It happens to me a lot. 

Now let’s get into the backstory of it. Let me tell you – that’s not a lack of self-control. It’s psychological manipulation at its finest (yes, you can take a sigh of relief). 

Brands use neuromarketing tactics to influence your subconscious, wondering how, Here’s how: 

• Scarcity Effect – “Only 2 left in stock!” suddenly makes you (read:me) desperate to buy
• Anchoring Bias – That ₹999 price tag isn’t accidental. Your brain compares it to ₹1,200, making it seem like a bargain (a fishy one)
• Social Proof – “10,000 people bought this!” triggers your (read:my) FOMO and hacks your decision-making process (all the ecommerce site that’s there)

Tell me,

How many of your purchases were actually based on need. And next tell me, how many were engineered by marketing? (Quite a lot, isn’t it?)

The main one,

Are your opinions even yours?

Thanks to social media algorithms. We (read: I) are always fed curated content. And this one thing actually reinforces what we already believe. 

Our feeds don’t challenge us, don’t worry. But they do trap us in bubbles of like-minded people. This makes everything seem like our opinions are universal truths.

We start hearing the same narratives, then we confuse repetition for reality. We think we’re making informed choices, but we’re often just parroting the loudest voices around us. (Yes, that may sound rude, but this is it).

So,

Can we ever truly think for ourselves?

The harsh truth? Total free will is an illusion. We’re all influenced. Trust me. Some by their past, or culture, or probably the media, and even our biology. But does that mean we’re powerless? 

Not necessarily.

How can one break free from programming?

1. Always pause before reacting. The next time you are making any decision, stop and ask: Why am I choosing this? Is this truly what I want?
2. Try exposing yourself to opposing views. It’s quite a difficult one, but try challenging your beliefs. Read, watch, and listen to perspectives you disagree with.
3. Figure out a way to limit mindless consumption. Be it some social media app, ads, news, or anything that you consume. Know that, they all shape your mindset. Hence, try being intentional about what you expose your brain to.
4. Practice real autonomy. See you are not here blindly follow all the norms stated. You can question each norm. Success, beauty, relationships, what do these really mean to YOU? Know what you are, and how you feel about certain things and thoughts.

The point is, you might never escape influence entirely. But awareness is the first step toward true autonomy. The more you question, the more you reclaim your decisions.

So next time you ‘choose’ something, stop. Think. Is it really your choice? Or is someone else making it for you?